Table for Two- An Intimate Thanksgiving Party.

The holidays can be a tough time of the year for families, especially those afflicted with one or all of the three Ds of dysfunction: distance, divorce and death (or if someone in your family has recently come out of the closet). Whatever the reason is, you have found yourself alone on Thanksgiving again.  Personally, I prefer a small Thanksgiving feast of friends and lovers, you'll see your family at Christmas. In the following guide you will find decorative ideas for your folding card table and festive ways to feed your deadbeat friend(s) on a budget. All the ideas can be easily amended to accommodate parties of all sizes, no matter how small. Use these recipes as bring-along dishes if you're fortunate enough to get a pity invite to someone else's Thanksgiving. All the recipes are created with your wallet in mind and designed by an amateur for amateurs. If you accidently put beef and peas with sauteed onions in the wrong dish, give these recipes a second chance at Christmas dinner. Think of this as Martha Stewart for the twentysomething.

Setting the Table

 I hate the word 'tablescape'. I think Sandra Lee may have made that up only for it to be propagated by home interiors stores in an effort to sell you things you can easily make yourself. Having stated my contempt for tablescaping, let's think of the first thing a dinner table needs. That's right, a centerpiece. Some like to use candles, others use flower vases, I combined the two for Canicopia Candleholder. You may be best to do this one a few days in advance (mine isn't hard yet). And no dinner table nor hope chest would be complete without a handmade tablecloth, an essential in preserving the life of your vinyl tabletop. 

Can-icopia Candleholder

For this activity you will need the following: a small empty can, a bottle cap, a taper candle, autumn leaves from the yard, school glue, water. 

Step 1: Make plaster of paris from school glue. Fill 2/3s of your empty can with school glue. Pour in hot water filling just below the top (about 2cm). Stir thoroughly. 

Step 2: Arrange your found objects in the plaster. Place the top of the bottle cap down in the center of the plaster. Dry time is about 3-5 days. Once dry, shove candle in the bottle cap. Light it up!

Betsy Ross Tablecloth

 For this activity you will need the following: A piece of festive fabric the size of your table (add 6 extra inches on each side for hemming), thin gauge yarn, a needle sized accordingly, a hot iron, scissors, a ruler, and clothespins.

Step 1: Lay the fabric flat and begin with one side measuring a 3/4" fold. 

Step 2: Clip down your folds at the corners and center. Iron folds down creating a strong crease. 

Step 3: Now take your thread and begin sewing in as straight of a line as you can, down the fold. You can take 1" gaps between stitches for a more decorative look. Repeat on all four sides of the cloth. A trick to the corners is told fold in diagonally. Be sure to change thread on each side.

Voila! 

Dessert First!

You can never go wrong by making your dessert a few hours or even a day beforehand. It cuts down on prep time and keeps your oven free for everything else you'll be making. Also if you screw it up you aren't S.O.L as the stores aren't always open late on Thanksgiving Day.

Vintage Pumpkin Pie

for Crust

1 c crushed graham crackers 

1 tbsp flour

1 tbsp sugar

1 stick butter (slightly melted)

for filling 

3 eggs

1/2 c brown sugar

2 t pie spice

1 can organic pumpkin

3/4 c half-n-half

1/2 t vanilla 

Step 1: Crush graham crackers into fine powder. 

Step 2: Set oven to 350. Mix grahams, sugar and flour together with hands. Add melted butter and work into paste. 

Step 3: Press into a pie plate and refrigerate. 

Step 4: In a large bowl, whisk eggs together. Add brown sugar and spices, mix well. Add pumpkin, cream and vanilla and whisk until smooth. Pour filling into pie crust. Bake for 40 minutes. Edges should come clean with a knife, center will still be slightly wet. 

Fini!




Headliners

Who says you have to serve turkey on Thanksgiving? Huh? A bunch of pilgrims and look what happened to them, they all died. If it's just the two or in your case, the one, I find that a roasted chicken does the job just as well and much more affordably. I prepared my chicken the same as I have prepared a turkey, with some obvious modifications such as temperature and time. All of the items below can and should go into the oven at the same time. 

Baguette Stuffing

1 baguette

1.5 sticks butter

1/2 red onion

4 stalks celery

2 t poultry blend herbs (rosemary, sage, marjoram) 

1 c stock 

splash of milk

Step 1: tear baguette into little pieces. 

Step 2: In a pot melt butter slowly with diced celery and onion. Heat until tender. 

Step 3: Throw in bread pieces and toss in butter until absorbed. Throw in herbs and continue to toss until soft. Dowse bread with stock and a splash of milk. Mash together. 

The stuffing can wait in a covered pot until chicken is ready to be prepared. 

Potatoes are Ruined, Potatoes are Ruined, Roasted Potatoes 

1.5 red potatoes per person (diced)

1/2 red onion diced

2 cloves garlic

1 tbsp rosemary 

2 tbsp olive oil

salt & pepper

Prep: This recipe is ridiculously easy. Dice produce and herbs. Mix thoroughly with olive oil, salt and pepper. Cover with foil and roast for as long as the chicken.

Maple Orange Orange Glazed Chicken
for chicken 
1 yellow onion
4 stalks celery
3 carrots
1 oven roast chicken
2 tbsp chopped poultry blend (rosemary, sage, marjoram)
1/4 stick butter
2 tbsp olive oil
Salt & pepper
for glaze 
1/2 c maple syrup
1/4 c orange juice
1 t orange zest
for gravy
1/4 c white wine
2/3 c chicken drippings
Flour (enough to thicken broth)

Step 1: Set oven to 375. Cut veggies into big pieces and line a roasting pan with them. Pull out giblets from chicken neck and clean bird off, cleaning blood from the cavity mmmph. 

Step 2: Though it may seem funny to put the chicken on your head to scare a roommate, just set the poor thing on the bed of veggies. Begin cutting slits in just the skin all over the chicken. Mix softened butter with mixed herbs and pepper. 

Step 3: Fill slits with herb butter mixture. Once butter is gone, begin pushing the limp stuffing into the chicken, nice and deep. Then cover chicken in olive oil and sprinkle with salt. 

Step 4: Put chicken in the oven uncovered for 20 minutes. During this time you should prep your glaze. (Note: You don't need a zester or grater to get the rind into a workable form, a knife does the trick. You also don't need a juicer, see photo. Learned that trick from Oprah, never eat anything she serves you).

Step 5: After twenty minutes of naked roasting, pull out and glaze. Cover with foil and throw back into the oven. "We're gonna cook him!" Baste chicken every twenty minutes until the temperature reaches 170. (About 2 and a half hours). I like to keep a basting log, for my memory box. 

Step 6: Transfer the turkey to a big plate. Discard veggies from roaster. Add white wine to pan juice. Take pan juice and dump it into a sauce pan. Heat whilst whisking flour into fat. Add flour as you see thick. 

Sides and Drinks!

Well, you may think that now your work is done because the chicken is roasting. You're mostly right, except for the basting log. Now is the time to enjoy your own company and remember the Thanksgiving Sangria you have steeping in the fridge. The last hour of roasting is when you'll make these two sides. 

Cranberry-Orange Sangria

Wine

Cranberries

Orange slices

Mash cranberries and oranges a bit, soak in any wine you have around. Drink up!

Apple Cider Carrots

4 c carrot coins

1/4 c apple cider

1/4 c brown sugar

1/2 t pie spice

1/4 t cumin

1/4 stick butter

salt & pepper

Step 1: Boil carrots for 2 minutes. Drain in a colander. 

Step 2: Simmer all ingredients in a pot for 5 minutes or until cider and sugar reduce to a thick glaze. 

Mashed Broccoli or Cauliflower

1 lb broccoli or cauliflower

1/2 stick butter

1/4 milk

salt & pepper

Prep: Super easy: boil broccoli/cauliflower until it's extremely tender. Mash with wooden spoon until it looks like baby food. Melt in butter and milk, stir with salt and pepper. 

Dinner is Served 

Better late than never....

Garnish with a roll because they're cheaper than biscuits and you can ring up two as one. 

The Anti-Climax

Now that dinner has been served, dessert destroyed and coffee slurped, and not to mention the disaster area your kitchen has become, the party will inevitably start winding down. Don't worry, nobody is going to genuinely offer to help you clean up. Always ask for help. This is generally when someone turns the TV to football. Where did this awful tradition originate? I can understand the post-dinner nap but football? Not in this gay man's apartment! I choose to have a healthy supply of movies on hand. I find that epics, Oscar winners and Disney films are best to keep your guests entertained and happy. I suggest The Wizard of Oz. 

That's all I have for you. Get out! See you at Christmas!

Wishing Your Family a Happy Thanksgiving 2011!

*Bonus: Just can't get enough? If you can find the three 'Friends' Thanksgiving episode references within this post, comment them below and I'll make you a pumpkin pie. Bonne chance et bon appetit!