A "Fat(ass) Tuesday" Little Dinner Party

Woo! Whip out your business for beads 'cause it's Mardi Gras time! I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what Mardi Gras is about. I think it has something to do with France because we usually had a busy-work/craft day in French class on Fat Tuesday.  This yearly festival of fools is much bigger in the South than up here in the Midwest, or maybe we just do our binge drinking holidays a little differently. I decided instead of making an appearance on Girls Gone Wild again, that I would stay in and entertain my, huskier, friends. After eating this dinner, you'll be giving your friends beads just to keep their top buttons closed.

Rosemary & Pear Infused Vodka

I suppose the purpose of Mardi Gras is to get wasted, with this craft you can recycle while you're at it. This is best done a few days in advance so that your vodka has enough time to steep. You can alter this recipe with your own blends of herbs and fruits. After a particularly militant recylcing crusade I began saving glass bottles, now I'm trying to find uses for them, let's view one now:

You Will Need the Following: cheap vodka, bartlett pears, fresh rosemary, and empty jars/bottles.

Step 1: Slice pear into pieces fit to your containers. Poke several holes in the fruit with a fork. 

Step 2: Fill jars with pear slices and one sprig fresh rosemary (as is). Pour vodka to rim. Seal and freeze for 3-5 days. Serve with tonic and lime or on the rocks. 

Mardi Gras Meatloaf!

Anyone who says they don't like meatloaf is either a vegetarian or still dealing with childhood misconceptions. And I say, if you're going to go all out for Fat Tuesday, then you should go big! This little loaf is stuffed with caramelized onions, wrapped in bacon and frosted with BBQ sauce. Meatloaf is another thing that can be done a hundred different ways and this was how I spoiled my guest. I apologize for all the graphic images of ground turkey. 

You Will Need the Following: 

1 lb ground turkey

1/2 lb bacon

1/2 red onion (sliced)

1 dinner roll (in pieces)

1/4 c milk

1/2 c bbq sauce 

1/4 c tomato paste

1 egg

1/2 t-spoon sugar

2 tbsp olive oil

Salt & Pepper

Step 1: Preheat oven to 350. In a mixing bowl combine bread pieces with milk and allow to soak. In the meantime caramelize onions by heating in oil until translucent. Add sugar and continue to cook for five minutes. Set aside.

Step 2: Pound bread and milk into a paste. Add egg, stir until mixed. Add meat, tomato paste, salt and pepper. Mix thoroughly and press half into a loaf pan. 

Step 3: Add a layer of caramelized onions and bury with remaining loaf mix. 

Step 4: Wrap loaf in bacon slices by pressing bacon ends down the sides of the pan with a spatula.

Step 5: Frost top with bbq sauce and cover. Bake for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 30 minutes. Allow to sit before serving.

Well that's it for this week. Hope you enjoy your Midwestern Fat(ass) Tuesday!

A Little Valentine's Day Dinner Party! (Part Deux)

You may ask yourself why I'm such a Valentine's Day enthusiast. It's probably because I've been raised on Valentine's Day-themed episodes of TV sitcoms. I think my love affair started in elementary school with my most painful Valentine memory: in first grade I fell off a bunk bed onto an acoustic guitar resulting in twelve stitches and a disfiguring scar on my forehead. It could only get better from there. I loved those little cards you'd get too. I always got Little Mermaid, it was my thing. I would sort them all out and carefully select who got which cards. There always seemed to be that one kid in every class, the Ralph Wiggums of the world. I always gave them my least favorite cards from my Ariel collection, out of obligation mostly. Looking back, I wonder if some people just didn't give those black sheeps any cards at all. I always checked my Valentine's Day haul against the directory to make sure I received a card from each and every student. Maybe it's because of those poor kids that so few people appreciate this glorious holiday. These days, even though I do still make a special mailbox for my desk, the Valentines are less plentiful. It's always nice when you get one from the most unlikely source, even if that is yourself. This year I am most thankful to St. Valentine and Amazon for the heart-shaped cake pan and deluxe edition of Anna Karenina. 

(Life is Like a-) Box of Chocolates

What is Valentine's Day without a little candy? Make that special someone happy with an array of their favorite chocolates. During long friendships, be them real or imaginary, people spend a lot of time eating sweets together. I like to pick up on my friends' favorites. In this craft I'll show you a creative and thrifty way to give a personalized box of chocolates. 

Find a musty old box.

Decorate the inside and the outside. Express your love.

Fill with candy and give to a loved one. 

*For cat lovers: replace chocolate with treats and serve.

Marty Maraschino Chocolate Cake

Every year my mom makes a heart-shaped layer cake. This probably has a lot to do with why Valentine's Day excites me. As you all know I'm an avid lover of boxed cake mixes. In the tradition of turning sows' ears into silk purses, watch as I dress up yet another boxed cake. If you know you're going to style it up, why let a silly thing like "homemade cake mix" slow you down, if you mixed it with eggs, oil and water, it's homemade enough.

You Will Need the Following: 

1 box chocolate cake mix

1 container whipped chocolate frosting

2 small jars maraschino cherries (drained)

1 tube white frosting

(eggs, oil and water as directed)

Step 1: Make cake as instructed on the box. Add 1/2 t-spoon maraschino juice to batter.

Step 2: While cake is baking, puree or finely chop one jar of cherries. Stir cherries and white icing together for the tween-layer of frosting.

Step 3: Once cake is cooled, cut into two layers with floss. Frost the top of the bottom layer with maraschino frosting. Put top layer on and continue frosting the outside with chocolate frosting. 

Step 4: Decorate top with cherries! Let cake marinate in fridge for three hours prior to serving.

I took half of this cake to work and shared with my loved ones. The important thing is not to eat the entire cake by yourself. 

Hoping you have a safe and happy Valentine's Day, I know I did! 

A Little Valentine's Day Dinner Party! (Part Une)

First of all, I apologize for flaking on my Football-ternative Little Dinner Party, those of you that know me understand that this is always a possibility. I was going to create a nacho bar, but for a few reasons this idea was canceled. The first being that the Chicago Tribune scooped my story, and did it much better I might add. And another reason was because of the possible health risks associated with eating that many calories. The biggest reason was because I had a paying writing gig, which is always better than cooking for deadweight friends.

It's that time again however. Valentine's Day! Those of you grimacing right now, grow up. Valentine's Day is just another excuse to binge on heart shaped baked goods and candy. Taking Valentine's Day seriously is the reason why you're probably still single. Let's face it, nobody wants to hear another mediocre looking person utter the completely unoriginal, "I hate Valentine's Day." Have the gals or gentleman(s) of choice over for a little contemporary Italian dining. Come for dinner, stay a little longer for card making! BYO-Postage. Instructions below:

Lasagna is for Lovers

This is my nearly 90 year old Grandma's recipe. Her lasagna has been a staple for many of my Italian family's get-togethers. I've had my share of lasagnas elsewhere and none compare to this classic. I love the story behind this recipe just as much. My grandparents were great travelers in their golden years. In the late 70s, they took a trip to Italy to explore my grandpa's heritage, in preparation for the trip my Grandma took an Italian language class. After the last class she had her classmates over for lasagna and this was the recipe she came up with. This was my grandpa's favorite dish and it's easy to see why. It lacks ricotta cheese as ricotta does not always agree with the bowels of the elderly.

1 lb ground animal (I use turkey)

20 oz tomato sauce

1 white diced white onion

1 box lasagna noodles

1 cup shredded mozzarella

1 cup shredded swiss 

2 cups shredded parmesan 

1 tablespoon Italian seasoning

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper

2 tablespoons olive oil

Step 1: Preheat oven to 325. Saute onion in olive oil and seasonings. Once translucent remove onions to a sauce pan. Pour sauce in with onions and stir. Next, brown your meat in the same saute pan and then transfer meat to sauce. 

Step 2: Heat and stir sauce while noodles boil. Mix cheeses together, saving 1 cup parmesan for topping.

Step 3: Once noodles are cooked begin layering your lasagna. Start with a layer or sauce in your baking dish. Stack first layer of pasta over top of that. 

Then again with the sauce: 

Then cheese: 

Step 4: Make four layers of noodles and then sprinkle remaining sauce and cheeses on top. Cover and bake for 30-35 minutes. For best results allow to cool for ten minutes. 

Cut-and-Paste Valentine's Pour Deux, For One

There are fewer things I respect more in a man than a handmade Valentine. I've only received from one special guy and let's just say, he loves the lasagna. Anywho, these cards are pretty easy. Take whatever paper doilies and adhere a little of this to a little of that etc. I'll admit I cheated a bit and used this magical machine called The Silhouette, a printer-esque device that cuts shapes out of construction paper. Remember the elementary school Ellison presses? Well I do, and this is exactly like it. I used a 40% off coupon to buy the blank stationary and it was well worth it. 

Get this stuff. 

And make these!

Note to the Host: Make sure to collect everyone's postage $ (especially your date's). Stamps are expensive.

This is a great activity for platonic dates and children who have parents in jail. So put Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan in and get to work, Valentine's Day comes but twice a year on The Little Dinner Party.

Stay tuned for Valentine's Part Deux: Candy and Dessert