Tuesday, March 31, 2015

A Little Spring Fare

I made five pies for a fundraiser this weekend (including a chocolate chess pie), but I won't be showing you that. Let's face it, winter is mostly over and while all the snow has melted away, the fat on your ass probably hasn't. Everyone told me after the age of twenty-five your metabolism slows down, I just figured like most laws, it didn't apply to me. Twenty-five breezed by in late night burgers and ice cream and I stayed skinny as a whippet, partially because of the manic period, but mostly because of good genetics. Now that I'm twenty-six, I'm a little bit wiser and a little bit wider. As a former fat-kid this is all cause for worry. My mom warns me about the hereditary "spread" that happens to people on her side of the family; a non scientific condition in which the hips and ass spread wider than the shoulders. As many of you know, I have an ass that won't quit, but after taking a good look around at the holidays, I'm realizing my fate if I keep eating with reckless abandon. I'd rather hate my reflection for all those hateful things it said to that bus driver than its flabby butt. That's why I'm starting with me. 

My plus-one recently embarked on a #cleaneatingchallenge which was just as annoying as it sounds. I did learn something though, and that is life's too short to count calories and read labels. Eat what you want. You can trust big food companies. That's why I choose Kraft Easy Mac for my family...

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Little Heart Attack

As winter squeezes out the last drops of our souls, don't be too hasty putting that CrockPot away. Yeah, thanks assholes who wore sandals and shorts on the one day it was 60 degrees - the hellish snowstorm this week was probably your fault.

I've become the cranky old lady I was destined to be. I collect kitty cat knick-knacks, wear socks to bed and if the mood strikes me, I might yell at a bank teller. Oh, and I eat lots of soups. It's like a hot salad.  There's really nothing better on a chilly spring day than coming home to a warm bowl of mush. Soups are also good for feeding big groups of people with limited supplies. I've been known to throw together a soup with little more than chicken bouillon and expired celery. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

A Little Warm Up

There comes a point in every relationship when you learn what kind of pornography the other is into. Apropos of nothing, my plus-one recently revealed a new video he enjoys starring a man named Stu. My initial thought was there's no way anyone that good looking is actually named "Stu." My second thought was of all the porno names you could choose, Stu is pretty solid because it reminds me of things that are hot and beefy. Well done Stu. This one's for you!

I got this enameled cast iron beauty for Christmas exclusively for the purpose of braising meats. The last one I had was a thrift store find which unfortunately didn't live very long. This bad boy cost a pretty penny which is why it was a gift from my parents. I know they're technically called "dutch ovens" but I just can't say it without thinking of the practice that single-handedly ruined my parents' marriage. As far as I'm concerned, no kitchen is complete without this $200 cooking vessel.

Friday, February 27, 2015

A Little Milestone

No, this ain't that kinda milestone. Don't let that adorable Fishs Eddy tea towel fool you, we can't afford to get married - not with a cat applying to Princeton in the fall.  It's the 100th installment of The Little Dinner Party! When I began this endeavor three and a half long years ago, I thought I'd be famous by now. Unless you print out this weekly blog and bind it together like a real book (as I do) it's not a coffee table book yet. Apparently it takes a lot more to get famous than just being a precocious child or a cute animal. If you have the secret, illuminati me. ∆ 

Maybe the secret to fame is working hard and updating once a week. Why can't it be working as hard as I feel like and updating randomly? In any case, in honor of our 100th post, I present this beautiful cake! To be honest, I'm really reaching for an excuse to make cake these days.