Friday, June 26, 2015

A Little Pride-tini!

The day you've been starving yourself for months is finally here! Grab your least flattering tank top and assless chaps 'cause it's time to celebrate! Gay Pride in Chicago is that special weekend once a year when Boystown becomes a lawless abyss. Handjobs are offered as a standard greeting and you can walk around with an open container. As tasteless as it sounds, it's actually one of the more casual Chicago street fests. It also happens to be the only one I actually participate in. See photo below. Days of Prides gone-by.

Some of my best and least cohesive memories take place with these Chicagoans. If you're gay or questioning, there's no better place to be than Chicago the last weekend in June.

Watermelon Pride-tinis!

This recipe comes courtesy of an old friend who twice texted me a picture of his wiener. It's a simple drink mixer made with the better parts of a watermelon. I don't know about you but if it weren't for the digestive trouble it causes, I would eat a watermelon everyday. Such a unique and light flavor is hard to translate into another use. Turns out, it works quite well with your basic clear liquors: vodka, gin, tequilla, nail polish remover etc.. My plus-one and I overserved ourselves on Memorial day with these bad boys. Be careful. 

you will need the following: 

1 whole watermelon 
1 c fresh lime juice
2 tbsp honey 
citrus wedges (for garnish)
tonic water

Step 1: Puree all ingredients in a food processor or blender. 

Step 2: Pour over strainer into pitcher, or old lady tupperwear. 

Step 3: Work the melon pulp and get every last drop. Discard pulp, or use as baby food in a sex act. 

Step 4: Shake watermelon mix until dark red. Pour over clear liquor and ice. Top off with tonic water. For a better time, add 1 shot triple sec plus clear liquor of choice. Serve in coconut if on vacation. 

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