The Last Supper

I get asked all the time by friends and former lovers, "why the hell haven't I been invited to one of your fancy dinner parties?" The answer is, probably because I don't like you that much and the idea of entertaining you in my house for an indefinite amount of time seems like torture. If I am fond of you, be patient - I'm probably just waiting for the right mix of people in which to include you and your spouse or mistress. Sure, it's easy to throw a dinner party together, but the nuances are what will set your soiree apart from one of those awful evenings of diminishing returns and uncomfortable racial tension. A logical guest list is imperative. You also have to consider significant others and plus-ones. There's nothing worse than a lopsided couple - you know, when you really like one member of a duo but the other one is the absolute worst....Unfortunately you have to extend the invitation to both in order to maintain healthy relationships. If you know your pal's plus-one is a total drip...balance out the guest list with one of your more out-of-control friends, so the undesirable guest(s) fade into the background. And keep everyone's cup full of booze. Except your own - drink like a pregnant woman: seltzer and lime wedges, at least until the food is served. 

My friends who have had the pleasure of dining chez Toulouse, are always saying, "is this going to be on the blog?!" Usually no. I've only got two hands and one of them is holding a martini while the other is trying not to get burned on a hot dish. I'm trying a new thing where I force my guests to take pictures and post them to their social media of choice. That way, my parties always look like lots of fun and people look forward to invites rather than dread them. This time around, I did a little documentation and luckily all these recipes have been previously featured on The Little Dinner Party.

A Little Winner-Winner Chicken Dinner

If we're friends or I've ever been drunk with you, I've probably asked you over for a chicken dinner. Like most of my invitations, it wasn't genuine. I mean well but I lack follow-through. The idea of cleaning my house for company seems pointless, but I'm too anal to have anyone in my house when it's this dirty. As soon as I can pay my cat to do the massive pile of laundry in the middle of my apartment, we'll have that chicken dinner. Just because I'm too lazy to make you a chicken dinner, doesn't mean I'm too lazy to make myself one. It only means more chicken for me. Yeah, the secret's out - I don't always throw the fabulous dinner parties my blog would like you to believe I do. 

My plus-one doesn't do meat, so when the cat's away this mouse plays....and eats a whole bunch of roasted meat. Truthfully, I barely do meat these days either, but when I feel like indulging, I buy the cheapest whole chicken I can find. I like my meat chock full of god-only-knows what contaminates the USDA thinks are fit for human consumption. When I see "reduced for quick sale" my mouth just waters. Part of the thrill of being a carnivore is knowing how appalling factory-farming is, but eating it anyway. This here is America damnit.