A Little Warm Up

There comes a point in every relationship when you learn what kind of pornography the other is into. Apropos of nothing, my plus-one recently revealed a new video he enjoys starring a man named Stu. My initial thought was there's no way anyone that good looking is actually named "Stu." My second thought was of all the porno names you could choose, Stu is pretty solid because it reminds me of things that are hot and beefy. Well done Stu. This one's for you!

I got this enameled cast iron beauty for Christmas exclusively for the purpose of braising meats. The last one I had was a thrift store find which unfortunately didn't live very long. This bad boy cost a pretty penny which is why it was a gift from my parents. I know they're technically called "dutch ovens" but I just can't say it without thinking of the practice that single-handedly ruined my parents' marriage. As far as I'm concerned, no kitchen is complete without this $200 cooking vessel.

A Little Breakfast Boat

My plus-one is performing on a cruise boat for the rest of my life. Actual time, until December. This means I have a lot of time on my hands and at least one extra seat at my two-seat studio apartment table. While I'm jealous that he gets to eat french fries everyday, I'm not so jealous that he has to watch fat American tourists eat french fries everyday. Until his return we'll be skyping in our dinners and conjugal relations. We did do some crafting before he left but due to its graphic nature, I will not be featuring it on this particular website. You'll have to find that on our forthcoming love-Tumblr. 

Anchors Away Egg Boats! 

To be honest, I fucking hate brunch. Not the eggs, but what "brunch" represents. What a stupid thing it is to throw on your business casual after a night of rocking out to Dave Matthews at whatever tragic Wrigleyville watering hole you frequent, and spending fifty dollars drinking off your hangover. You end up annoying everyone in the city whose path you cross, and annoying everyone on your social media feed with stupid pictures of yourself drinking mimosas and "world's best bloody Mary's" which all end up looking pretty much the same. We get it, you work a boring 9-5 job and this is the one day a week you can just let your hair down. For those of us who think your douche-baggery is intolerable, this recipe is the best way to make breakfast impressive without being a turd about it.