Thanksgiving Side By Sides - Part 1

Nothing kills your Thanksgiving buzz quite like a vegetarian at the table. Not to worry, as long as the side dishes hold out, everyone can be happy, sort of. I'm not crazy about sweet potatoes, but I discovered this interesting method in a Southern cookbook a few years ago. I've even converted some sweet potato haters with this savory little gem. I make these all the time because they're cheap and easy. Sweet potatoes, unlike baking potatoes, are actually pretty good for you too. If you're fortunate enough to have two racks in your oven, pop these babies in about an hour and a half before you take the turkey out. 

Sweet Potato Halves with Crispy Fried Rosemary

The best part about this method is that the rosemary will get crispy beneath the potato while the potato blackens. You can't really fuck this up, so don't worry. Also, if you're short on rosemary you can use thyme too, it won't get crispy but it does the trick. 

Step 1: Set oven to 400ish. Line a baking sheet with foil, a little olive oil and course sea salt. Set down rosemary sprigs where you intend to place potatoes. 

Step 2: Stab potato all over with a fork. Cut (or widdle if your knives suck as bad as mine do) sweet potatoes lengthwise. 

Step 3: Score the exposed tops and then slather with butter. You can't put too much butter on there. In fact, put a few little flecks right down on the baking sheet. Sprinkle whatever other seasons you like on the potato tops too, they'll need it. Place halves orange-side down onto rosemary and roast for an indefinite amount of time. Once they start oozing, you're good. 

A Little Roasted Pumpkin Chicken

As promised, after my pumpkin rant, an elegant autumnal recipe featuring pumpkin. Ever since summer left us, I've been eating like a fatass and thus ripped my favorite pants yesterday trying to shimmy into them. It was like a sad punch line to my diet joke. Pumpkin is evidently very good for you, but it's usually only seen in confectionary treats. I decided to sneak it into a savory dish. Honestly you won't even think you're eating squash. If you're looking to use your cast iron, this is the dish to do so. 

Spooky White Wine Chicken with Savory Pumpkin & Grapes

I find if you add the word "spooky" to anything it makes it Halloween-adjacent, to serve in other seasons simply subtract the word "spooky." This was a total experiment, a Franken-recipe of two of my favorite recipes. It was better than I could have ever anticipated. While not especially challenging, it's epicurean enough to seem impressive to potential lovers and dinner guests. Serve with your favorite scary movie. 

You will need the following: 

2-3 chicken breasts

1 pie pumpkin peeled and seeded

2 c seedless red grapes

1/2 yellow onion

balsamic vinegar

olive oil

white wine 

garlic

thyme

salt & pepper

Step 1: Marinate chicken breasts overnight in wine, thyme, salt and pepper. 

Step 2: Skin pumpkin with peeler. Remove seeds and cut into sticks. Toss in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper. Roast for twenty minutes at 450.

Step 3: Brown chicken breasts in cast iron with olive oil. Set aside and allow pan to cool a bit. Once slightly cooled, arrange chicken with roasted pumpkin, grapes, onion, garlic and as much thyme as you can fit. Pour wine and olive oil over arrangement and put back in the oven for 30 minutes, or until chicken is 165 degrees. 

Step 4: Once sufficiently cooked, place chicken and pumpkin on a plate. Add more wine and half a cup of hot water to pan drippings and grapes. Simmer over stovetop for a few minutes until reduced. Serve chicken with steeped grapes, pumpkin and pan juices.  

A Little Munchie

It's that crispy crunchy time of year and I'm sure you're all wondering where my pumpkin recipes are. If not, you should be. Though I do love a good pumpkin recipe, the market is a little over saturated right now. I was at Aldi the other day and they literally had a whole wall devoted to pumpkin shit. Pumpkin cheese? What does that even mean?! I'm all about a pumpkin spice latte and all the white girls in yoga pants who will tell you it's their favorite thing about fall, but enough is enough. Have no fear, I may put something pumpkin-y up, but for now, I'm over it. There's more to autumn than orange squash.

Personally, I love a good crock-pot stew and a scary movie on chilly October evenings. That being said, I also have a wicked sweet tooth, and I'm trying not to eat like a fatty until at least November. Caramel corn was my solution, plus I had the munchies and conveniently had all the ingredients for this impulse bake.

Crunchy Munch Caramel Corn 

Just like Garrett's only without the pigeon swarms outside. 

You will need the following: 

4-5 c popped popcorn (not microwave, gross)

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 stick butter

1/4 c maple or breakfast syrup (whatever you have)

1/2 tsp baking soda

dash of pie spice or cinnamon (opt.)
pinch of salt

Step 1: Line two cookie sheets with buttered parchment paper. Carefully remove unpopped kernels from popcorn, the last thing you want is an emergency trip to the dentist. 

Step 2: Simmer syrup, sugar, butter, salt and spice until big bubbles form, stirring occasionally. Now, let sit for five minutes and DO NOT STIR. 

Step 3: Remove from heat and add baking soda, it will start to get real foamy and you'll want to work fast otherwise it will turn into a sticky mess. 

Step 4: Mix in popcorn little bits at a time and slather evenly with hot caramel. Ideally you don't want too much caramel on your popcorn or it won't be crunchy. Less is more. Think of it more as a glaze. 

Step 5: Turn popcorn out onto lined cookie sheets and let cool completely by an open window. 

Get crafty with it. I used some to trim a cake! 

A Little Seasonal Slaw

I feel the same way about this blog as I do personal fitness and life goals, I'll get to it when I feel like it. So it's been awhile, obviously. There have been a lot of things going on, most notably a promotion at work and a very homosexual apple picking bike ride in the rolling plains of northwestern Illinois. For at least two weeks I was rolling in apples, but since they were farm fresh, I had to act quickly. The last thing anyone needs from me is another pie recipe (though I did make two bitchin' pies) so here's the method I employed to use up my remaining apples. Applesauce! 

Caramel Applesauce 

I've had that ditto since kindergarten, how I've managed to hold on to that and not my boyish figure, I'll never know. Applesauce always reminds me of that scene in Wuthering Heights, if you don't know what I'm talking about, put down your serialized teen action novel and read a real book once in awhile. Anywho, appleslawce is really easy and versatile. I mixed it into my oatmeal every morning. 

You will need the following: 

4 large apples, skinned and sliced thin

3/4 c apple cider

1/4 c brown sugar

1 tsp pie spice 

splash lemon juice 

5-6 caramel cubes (optional)

Step 1: Mix all ingredients in heavy-bottomed pot. Simmer over medium heat for about thirty minutes or until apples are soft. 

Step 2: Mash apple slaw together (I used my pastry cutter) and refrigerate. The cider will help it stay preserved, so it should be good for about a week.