Tuesday, April 15, 2014

A Little Religious Occasion Dinner

It's that time of year again. The time when birds start singing, flowers bloom out of the ground and then a big fucking snow storm comes through and ruins April. It's also the time of year people have vaguely religious dinner parties. The only temple I worship at is currently under federal investigation, so I can't say whether lasagna is traditional to any other religion than my appetite. Whether you're a spiritual person or not, someone will ask you to attend their vaguely religious dinner, be it Easter or Passover. Just last night I went to my first homosexual Seder. There are few things in this world I wouldn't do for good brisket including, but not limited to, murder. The best part of being in a Facebook relationship with a vegetarian is that I get to eat his portion of brisket. I know, you're all tired of reading my vegetarian recipes, but you can't imagine how sick I am of eating them. My rule for vegetarian cookery is that I'll never stoop to that vegan bullshit. I'm not even trying to hear about nutritional yeast. The key to making brisket-lovers enjoy a brisket-less dinner is giving people a dish worthy of a main course. That does not include salad or soup, unless it's lunch at Olive Garden and it's available in a never ending quantity.

Vegetable Lasagna

you will need the following 

1 box lasagna noodles (boiled)
24 oz tomato sauce 
olive oil 
1 onion (diced)
3 cloves garlic (minced)
1 bunch fresh spinach 
1 zucchini 
1 yellow squash 
4 c shredded mozzarella 
1 tbsp Italian herbs
salt & pepper 

Step 1: Preheat oven to 375. Boil your noodles in oily water. 

Step 2: Sautee onion and garlic with Italian herbs. Then add to sauce and simmer together. Salt and pepper as desired. I like to add red pepper flakes because Papa likes it spicy. 

Step 3: Wash and pat spinach dry. In one pan with butter, saute spinach until it cooks down. In another pan with olive oil, cook zucchini and squash until tender, or burnt. 

Step 4: Now that your sauce is done, your noodles are boiled and your veggies are tender, it's time to assemble! Put a little sauce on the bottom of a long baking dish. Burn your fingers on hot lasagna noodles, and arrange them lengthwise. Top with veggies. Then with sauce. Then with cheese. Line noodles the opposite direction and do the process again. Keep alternating until out of ingredients. (About three or four layers). Cover with foil and bake 45-55 minutes. 

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