Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Little Come Back Cake


You may as well face it, everyone is gonna leave you someday. If you're lucky or a semi-skilled baker, you can convince people to return to you (even from beyond the grave). I'm a semi-skilled baker. As previously mentioned, my plus-one went to Africa. I channeled my petty jealousy into productive tasks like making welcome home banners and peanut butter cakes. He made the mistake of giving me a key to his apartment. I took that opportunity to break into his place, snoop through his stuff and decorate for his return. Why? Because I'm insane, and bored, but mostly insane. I made this cake in his kitchen. It's always interesting cooking in someone else's kitchen. BYO-Cooking Untensils. 

Peanut Butter Cake with Store Bought Icing

This is a peanut butter sheet cake. This cake can be lethal if fed to those with nut allergies. Use that information as you see fit. I came up with this last year around Valentine's Day for a Single & Fabulous? party I threw. It's worth being single for. I support store-bought frosting, I used dark chocolate for this bad boy. Ordinarily I bake all my cakes in the shape of a heart because the only cake pan I have is a heart. I invested in a new cake pan, only to burn the shit out of the bottom and sides of this guy. Cakes are a lot like bodily deformities, you can always cover up imperfections with more frosting. I think that should be embroidered onto a tea towel and overpriced on Etsy. 

you will need the following: 

1/4 c natural peanut butter
1 c water
1 stick butter 
1 c sugar 
1 c brown sugar
2 c flour 
2 eggs
1/2 c whole milk
1 tsp vanilla 
1 tsp soda
1 tsp salt 

1 can frosting of choice. 

Step 1: Oven to 325. Bring peanut butter, water and butter to a boil. Stir until smooth and thick. 

Step 2: Mix dry ingredients in a bowl with sugars. Flour cake pan. 


Step 3: Add flour mix to peanut butter mix. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Pour into a cake pan and bake 30 minutes.  *This cake can be made into a layer cake by splitting the batter between two cake pans.*


Once the cake has cooled and you've trimmed off all the blackened edges, get crazy with the frosting. I took the liberty of accenting with Reese Pieces, and then eating whatever Reeses Peices were leftover. 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

A Little Night on the Town


Sometimes you just don't feel like cooking. Living in one of the nation's fattest cities means there are roughly a million choices for dining out. I was lucky enough to get invited to the kick off event for Chicago Restaurant Week. The First Bite Bash was Thursday night at Union Station in the Great Hall. You know, the place where Julia Roberts says "that still makes me fungus" in My Best Friend's Wedding. Interesting enough, I met a woman at this event who owns the boat on which Julia Roberts has her "pass you by" moment. 

This was basically like a classy buffet with an open bar, in tiny form. The rather steep ticket price of $125 per person went to charity, but if you have a crappy blog, you can get your way onto a media list and gain free entrance. It was set up like a school science fair where participating local restaurants showed off their best goods. It was a little overwhelming and at times I felt like a tool taking pictures of everything I was eating. I tried to narrow it down to my top five things, or at the very least the top five things I could remember enjoying. Needless to say, I ate myself sick.



This testicular looking delicacy is called Fior di Latte. It was a quail egg wrapped in mozzarella cheese. I'd never had a quail egg before, but it sounded fancy. It was delicious, and I normally don't care for soft boiled eggs. I probably wouldn't have had a second one, but the presentation alone on this was impressive. If you haven't tried Quartino in the River North area, get there. It's romantic, affordable and big enough that you don't have to wait long for a table. 



I've never been to this downtown steakhouse. This sort of dining experience rarely appeals to me, but put lobster in anything and I'm into it. There were a few other lobster bisque shooters here but this one was by far the best. It wasn't super thick nor was it overloaded with old bay seasoning. You could actually taste the lobster. I feel a little bad about choosing this one over Devon's if only because I made friends with the girl who was working their booth. 



Even at this event you had to wait in line for a taco, thus proving that you will always have to wait for Big Star. It's okay because they have the goods to back it up. This Mole Almiendero de Borrego was definitely my favorite thing of the night. It was an almond based mole sauce with cherry flavors over chicken with fresh mint and goat cheese on top. It was nice to see Wicker Park's Big Star there representing the quirkier neighborhood restaurants that make Chicago a unique city to eat in. Impress your out of town guests here instead of the tacky Eataly stuff. 



There were a lot of braised meats here, so I was in heaven. Bistrot Zinc brought out cider-braised pork cheeks. I couldn't get enough of this. Ordinarily, I am skiddish about things like cheek, face, belly etc. I just don't like visualizing what part of the animal I'm eating. This little gem of a French bistro is a Gold Coast mainstay. It's one of the most frequented French places in the city because it's accessible and adorable. Come here in the summer and drink wine while watching passerbys from their big, open windows. I also loved their enameled cast iron display here. I can't recommend this place enough, especially with Valentine's Day just around the corner. 



Dessert was a popular course at this event. I did my best to hold off on the sweets but this booth made it impossible. The caramel pie was clearly very popular. I had three, but really I had four. They were also giving out free coffee drink coupons, which my date scolded me for throwing away. While I think this is technically a Lettuce Entertain You restaurant, there's something better going on here than say, Petterino's. Stop at this River North cafe-style restaurant for espresso and caramel pie after a long day at the office. 


Since this is my blog, I can put up as many pictures of myself as I want. I had a lot of fun at this event, and if I weren't sure everyone would be really bored, I'd keep listing pictures and restaurants. As a home chef on a budget, it was nice to be able to eat my way around the city and try places and dishes I probably wouldn't have otherwise. Also, since I didn't pay to attend this event, I feel like I had to sing for my supper. Restaurant week runs through February 6th. Check out the websites of your favorite restaurants to see about special prix fixe menus. Quit your bitchin' and get outta your kitchen!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

A Little Vegetarian Dinner



So I'm dating a vegetarian. Yes, it grinds my gears. As a meat enthusiast, I'm relearning everything I know about food. Apparently you don't need several kinds of unethically raised animal flesh on the table to call it dinner. I've even tried to cut back on my own meat in-take, insert obvious sexual puns here. Maybe I'm using the wrong search engine but I can't seem to find a vegetarian cooking blog that doesn't piss me off. I'm a purist when it comes to food, well, as purist as any GMO-slurping, urban-dwelling, American can be. I'm leery about using "faux" meat. If it's not meat and it's not dairy, what the hell is it? You can eat all the tofu you want, but I don't care for it. When cooking for my vegetarian I'm just gonna stick to vegetables and grains for now. At least he isn't vegan. Hail seitan! 

Je m'appelle Ratatouille!

Nope, I haven't seen the movie but I've heard great things. I'll usually watch anything concerning epicurious rodents, but for some reason I've missed this one. Typically this dish calls for eggplant. I'm not crazy about eggplant, I can't quite define why, but something about it rubs me the wrong way. I replaced eggplant with heirloom tomato slices and it was excellent. I love buying new kitchen stuff and since this recipe calls for paper thin slices of veggies, I finally invested in a good kitchen knife. This was ridiculously easy and the leftovers were easily repurposed into omelets the next morning. 

you will need the following: 

1/2 onion (minced)
2 garlic cloves (sliced thin)
1 c tomato puree (or sauce)
2 tbsp olive oil 
1 zucchini (sliced thin)
1 yellow squash (sliced thin)
1 red bell pepper (sliced thin)
1 heirloom tomato (sliced thin)
Fresh thyme 
Salt & pepper
Goat cheese (optional)
Polenta 

Step 1: Oven to 375. Pour tomato puree into an ovular dish, unless you don't have one. In which case use a pie dish. Mix sauce with chopped onion, garlic slices and 1 tbsp olive oil. Season to taste. 


Step 2: Arrange thin sliced veggies in a circular pattern. 


Step 3: Top veggies with fresh thyme and drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper. This part sucks, but try to cut a circle of parchment paper that will fit inside the dish and cover your veggies. I'm really not sure why this is important but the cookbook said it was. 

Step 4: Bake 45 minutes. Prepare a bed of polenta (or any other grain you like) for the ratatouille. 


Top with goat cheese and serve immediately. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Little Breakfast in Bed


Because your ass is hungover. I know I'm always posting about quiches and it's starting to look lazy. I justify that technically this is almost a Flamiche. Don't ask me the difference because I don't care. I really applaud myself on this because a.) it was delicious b.) I made it the night before to minimize effort in my hungover state and c.) I remembered champagne and orange juice to aid said hangover. I probably wouldn't have gone to all this trouble but my boyfriend was going on a last-minute trip to Africa later that day and had spent the night. Yes, that is a thing that happened. I figured if this was the last time I would see him alive, at least we ate well. Sort of. 

Bastardized Flamiche

Again, I'm not totally sure what a flamiche is, but I do know it contains a mixture of leeks and gruyere cheese. This was mostly off the cuff, but it's a good thing my cuff has such good taste. I think some recipes do contain potatoes and since my bedfellow is a vegetarian I added them for extra substance. Typically this dish is prepared in a tart pan, but that seems stupid so I used a shallow pie dish. 

You will need the following

1 pastry shell (I used my own savory herb and cheddar recipe)
1 leek stalk, chopped
1 tbsp butter
4 eggs
1/2 c cream or whole milk
1 c shredded gruyere  
1 russet potato sliced and boiled
dried thyme 
dried rosemary
salt & pepper 


Step 1: Clean leeks and cut off the dark green ends and roots. Turns out leeks are just giant green onions. Chop them like so and saute in butter until soft. 

Step 2: Boil potato slices and then let sit until cool-ish. Sprinkle them with dried rosemary so they have flavor. 

Step 3: Whisk together milk and eggs. Toss in leeks and keep whisking until mixed up 


Step 4: Build your flamiche by putting the pastry shell in your pie dish. Then line it with potatoes. Then a layer of cheese. Then your egg shit followed by more cheese. Salt and pepper it up. Or skip reading this step and just look at the picture below. 


Step 5: Bake at 425 for 40 minutes. Allow to cool completely before covering and refrigerating. When reheating, bake at 350 for 20ish minutes. Long enough to think about having sex and then decide not to because all that motion might just make you ralph. 


Gratuitous, I know. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Little Snowed-In Dinner


Unless you live under a rock, or have actually frozen to death, you know the Midwest is the North Pole right now. I wish I could say I've never had to wrap my cat in a dish towel to regulate his body temperature, but in the summer I didn't have air conditioning. That's one of the drawbacks to my otherwise amazing vintage Chicago apartment. Now that the tables have turned entirely, I'm barricading my drafts with blankets, wrapping the cat in towels and telling ghost stories around my space heater. The only thing to do in weather that restricts you to the four walls of your studio is make soup, and love, but mostly soup. I finally got a new food processor for Christmas as I accidentally broke my old one. I've been dying to make this since the first nip in the air, but it's virtually impossible without a blender or processor. I normally hate recipes that require extra kitchen gadgetry but I'll stand by this staple recipe. 

Broiled Tomato Soup Cups 

Folks, I won't lie to you. If this recipe looks familiar it's because it was featured on Smitten Kitchen, which is my culinary and spiritual bible. I don't publish recipes that are not mostly my own. I spun this one slightly different than she does by adding a little of this, and a little of that. In case Deb Perelman ever tries to sue me. I'd be so flattered. I make mine a little closer to the consistency of French Onion Soup than classic tomato soup. It's basically the same idea. 

You will need the following 

5 plum tomatoes sliced in half
2 tbsp olive oil 
2 garlic cloves 
2 c vegetable stock 
a pinch of dry thyme 
2 tbsp dry vermouth
a pinch of basil 
salt & pepper
2 tbsp grated red onion 
1/2 c shredded sharp cheddar
baguette slices 
a god damned food processor or blender

Step 1: Preheat oven to 400. Line a cookie sheet with foil and dowse tomatoes in oil, salt, pepper, and dry basil or whatever spices tickle your fancy. Wrap unpeeled garlic cloves in foil, put on same sheet. Roast 30-ish minutes. Enough that tomatoes fall apart. 


Step 2: Transfer roasted tomatoes to food processor. Take garlic from foil and squeeze into the processor cup. You will burn your hands during this process. I like to do this part by myself so as to swear in the privacy of my own kitchenette. 


Step 3: Puree tomatoes. I don't care for chunks. Toss the olive oil from the baking sheet in there too, why the hell not? While you puree, put stock, vermouth and additional spices into a pot. Combine tomato mush with stock and let simmer for like 30 minutes. It won't scour since it's more of a broth. Again, I suggest doing this ahead of time - the longer it sits the better it tastes. 

Step 4: The next day, or whenever, pour soup into individual bakers. Preheat oven to 400. Butter your baguette slices and toast those for a few minutes, careful not to burn them. Put baguette slices in soup cups, and top with grated onion and cheddar. Bake soups uncovered for 15 minutes. Eat immediately, expect the roof of your mouth to hate you. *Bake soups on a baking sheet because it will likely bubble over and make a mess*


It's mostly healthy.